Sorry it has been awhile since my first official post. Between those times I have debated on what I would speak upon next. Would it be black issues, would it be how I feel like this new make up trend (the highlight and contour) is causing my black sisters to neglect their skin health ( I have a theory that the use of make up excessively leads to breakouts, clogged pores and overall congestion of the skin). I’ve also been experiencing a severe need to address what has been bothering for some time now: my complete and utter disgust of my medical school from my classmates up to the administration.
So let’s talk sis. As a black person in medicine you most certainly need tough skin. However, tough skin is the least of your concerns when it comes to tolerating the bullshit that goes on at my school on the daily.
We probably all remember how we felt on November 9th when we realized who exactly was going to be our 45th president (out of respect for Pres. Obama and the black community, I will refer our current president as 45). I have had several classmates who I mistakenly considered friends who balled (and I mean BAWLEDDD) their eyes out and took this man’s presidency very, very hard. I personally believed that this was exactly what America gets for (both conservatives and liberals) not taking the value of black lives seriously enough to do much about it. I felt like our issues were exploited and our pain was monetized off of via the media and while our issues still persist have y’all noticed that since 45 our issues have not been very well publicized.
So how does this relate to medical school? Well I was in a meeting with these same students I just mentioned, a few Muslim students and a few Barack Obama supporters. In this meeting I was the only one vocal about the concerns of those very same students and I was the only one who spoke about solutions that the school could accomplish to alleviate these issues. What was frustrating was that I was getting so much push back for my ideas and solutions from the VERY SAME PEOPLE who cried their eyes out about the election results. This put me in a conundrum. I was like why the FUCK am I wasting my time at a meeting discussing positive changes at a school that would directly benefit multicultural students and I am getting push back from multicultural students.
It’s because this is medical school, it’s not reflective of real life. Medical students (at least at my school) are some of the most self-serving, selfish, non-compassionate motherf’ers that I have ever experienced. What’s crazy about this is that these are the people who are going to be treating Y’ALL when Y’ALL get sick. We are taught at our school the words to say to fake compassion which we use on one another daily( well they do, not me).
My school is run by old conservative white men and fearful liberals and it is infuriating. When I first started attending the school we were at a very competitive rank but have since dropped 14 SPOTS. My school is fucking TRASHHHHH.
However, It is survivable. The positive things about my school are that my professors are amazing and there are MAD attractive people randomly walking all over the place. Another positive thing is that the name of the school will hopefully carry weight during my residency interviews if the school doesn’t damage it’s reputation anymore than it already has. Because I am a medical student at a US program I will not have any issues with residencies in my respective field. I am looking at Peds. I remind myself everyday how fortunate I am to be learning the things that I am learning and I know that I am doing what God truly intended me to do.
I really hope this school does not taint my good heart and my willingness to serve my community since everyday I am surrounded by people of color who are on the same path as me that could literally give a FUCK about black issues. I really pray that I don’t go through whatever they went through that made them hate themselves that much.
Also, I have advice if you are reading this and you are not in the medical field. Inevitably, you will have to get seen for a health ailment. Empower yourself! If you can find a physician or health care provider who is of your own race please do so because they most likely will probably treat you better. HOWEVER, if they don’t, empower yourself to know that you CAN (and hopefully your insurance allows) find someone better. It may be stressful but don’t let anyone get comfortable with making you feel less than regardless of if your health concern is big or small, find someone who genuinely cares about your needs.
Thanks for reading and remember please leave a comment if you feel compelled to do so!
My song for this blog post will be entitled MAD by Solange ft. Lil’ Wayne. Because being mad is OK. Hating your medical school is OK. But let it go so it doesn’t get in the way of your true vision.
Be BLESSED Y’all!